I know there are a lot of people who would love to push back at me for making such a statement, but it’s the conclusion I (as well as many others) have drawn. See it goes a little something like this, if you believe that your thoughts create your reality, which there are numerous spiritual groups as well as scientists who have discussed this concept at great length, that would mean that EVERYTHING we have ever experienced is a result of our consistent pattern of thinking. So, if that’s the case, then our own happiness is our own hands.
Most would say, “Well I am not choosing to be unhappy, I just am.” And they would also insist that “if” they had the ability to make the conscious choice, they would chose happiness. Well, isn’t that something? Allowing ourselves to fall back into our usual, comfortable, patterns of thinking, is still a choice, now isn’t it? When we insist on seeing life only as it is now, instead of making the attempt to see things as we would like them to be, we are making a choice, whether we want to admit it or not. Consistently falling back on the same kneejerk reactions, to the same types of experiences, is only going to produce the same kind of results. You can’t, in one breath, say you want to be happy, then, in the next breath, continue with the exact same type of unhappy thoughts and behaviors that have been perpetuating the unhappiness you want to avoid. This is like consistently banging your head against a brick wall, while wishing your head would stop hurting, then getting angry at the brick wall for the headache.
The longer we choose to focus on what makes us unhappy, we will only bring on more unhappiness, because that is where our attention lies. But if, in the moment of conflict, we CHOOSE to even attempt to look for something about the situation to feel better about, therein lies the change we desire. It will become more common for us to work to feel better, than to work to feel sad. They are both work, it’s just that we’ve done one for so long, it’s become second nature (or just nature). We have the power to turn that around if we so choose and allow the more natural choice to become the predominantly positive one.