Oh yeah this is a biggie and what I have to say probably won’t make me any friends… but oh well here it goes. All (yes I do mean all) of the issues I know of or have heard of come from someone trying to impose their desires on someone else. I have come across way too many people who are looking for someone outside of themselves, to make them happy or whole. Right here, this one thing is an automatic relationship fail! Yes, it is absolutely true.
Here’s the thing. All of us that are aware and accepting of the fact that our thoughts create our realities, in turn have to be aware that we are the ONLY ones who CAN create within our realities. What does this mean? It means that we are the only ones responsible for our happiness by way of monitoring our thoughts. It also means that everyone else is responsible for their own happiness by way of monitoring their own thoughts. No one exists to create happiness for someone else, we are here to create it for ourselves, when we are happy with ourselves it is much easier to spread genuine happiness to others.
I want us to all take a moment and think about any possible issues we currently have with our significant others. Are we basing our happiness on their actions or reactions toward us? Does this not go directly against the belief system of creating our reality by using our thoughts? If we think it and believe it, then it is (or eventually will be if we continue to pay specific attention to it). So if all of your happiness, in any specific relationship, is based upon what someone else is or isn’t doing for you, then you’ve got a problem and you will ALWAYS have problems.
Instead of BLAMING (I talk about this blame thing a lot don’t I?) your S/O for what you feel they are doing wrong, why don’t you try to work the situation around in your mind until you feel better? One thing we will never be able to do is “control” what anyone else is doing. So maybe we should just stop trying to. It causes more stress in relationships than anything else. Too often we want to guide our loved one’s behavior by what makes US feel good, but we sure don’t want them to do that to us. If we can’t find a way to create some common ground, where we can learn to accept each other as we already are and still find a way to be happy in our own lives, then our relationships will never be at peace. Everything starts from the inside out, not the other way around.