…in more ways than one lol. Anyway, here’s my story. The Man
and I had toyed with the idea of doing a half marathon for quite some time, but
never committed. A good friend of ours (who I will refer to as Friend C)
motivated us to stop talking and start taking action. So with my heart in my
throat, “I said why not?” and proceeded to follow the training scheduled I was
given.
So for maybe a month and a half I trained with The Man and a
very close friend (who I will refer to as Friend P). I would’ve liked to have
trained for a longer period of time, but it was a snap decision so, again, we
just acted. We got our bodies out there on the lovely trail close to our
neighborhood and tacked on mile after mile (over a course of time). In my mind
I was concerned about going the distance. Are you aware that a half marathon is
13.1 miles? Yikes, I wasn’t until I said YES! Well anyway, every time we
trained we pushed until the end. I surpassed limits I’d never thought I’d even
attempt. I learned a lot about myself and what I could endure just during the
training, so what type of experiences would the marathon hold?
Well the longest distance I managed to run straight through
was 8 miles. We never got to practice going above that as we would have had to
push ourselves too hard, too close to the time of the event. So we decided not
to stress. To be honest I did still stress. At the end of that 8 mile run I had
been ready to collapse. How would I be able to run continuously for 5.1 more
miles? The Man’s goal was to run it all the way through without stopping, which
sounded good, but I was more concerned with how I was going to even manage to get
to the end, when it all came down to it. I was a nervous wreck up until about a
day or two before the event. Then I just became filled with excitement. I felt
I could do it and that participating would be a fantastic experience. Every
other word out of my mouth to anyone I came in contact with was something to do
with the marathon. I was like an addict… and I hadn’t even taken the “drug.”
So finally the day of the race arrived and it’s just me and
him… in a crowd of THIRTY-THOUSAND OTHER PEOPLE! No, you didn’t read that
wrong. We were toward the back of the
line so it took us about forty five minutes to reach the start line. Nervous
excitement built within me the closer we edged up to the start. Finally after
what seemed like endless waiting it was our turn. We started out STRONG. I tend
to have issues remembering to pace myself and this time The Man didn’t remind
me as he usually does.
The difference from training with two other people on a
nature trail VS THIRTY THOUSAND OTHER PEOPLE were glaringly obvious from the
start. Basically everyone is working at doing their own thing and often you
have to work around that. This was a total distraction that I was severely
unprepared for. So on top of going faster than usual the distractions caused me
to forget some of my very important breathing patterns. Around mile 4.5 we’d
exerted more energy than expected and worked at slowing it down to our typical
pace. The cool temperatures weren’t so cool anymore and the consistent
uphill/downhill intervals were getting to me. In my mind I was getting
concerned but still trying to push through.
I took an Energy GU and it gave me a little more go. Around
every mile marker I took part in Gatorade and water as needed and still kept
trying to push through. In my head I kept thinking I couldn’t stop, I had to
make it. Well around mile 8.5 my body told me in no uncertain terms that if I
didn’t take it down to a walk I would be damned sorry. As disappointing as it
was, I knew I had to listen to what my body was telling me, as my mind had lost
the battle. With great frustration I told him to go on without me as I didn’t
want to hold him back from making his goal. Though we were surrounded by droves
of people I knew I would be able to find him at the finish… even though we’d
decided to leave our phones in the car. Oops!
Sooooooo… there I was, watching as The Man pushed on and I
stayed walking behind. Dismal is the word I would use to describe the feeling
at the pit of my stomach. He’d wanted to run it all the way to the end and we’d
both thought we’d cross the finish line together. Not so much. Lower even still
my heart sank as I watched others I had passed earlier now pass me by. What a
disappointment for sure… or was it? I looked up to the sky which was still big,
bright and blue and felt a smirk pull at the corners of my mouth. Maybe this
experience wasn’t the failure my conscious mind was trying to make it out to
be.
I continued to walk my way down the designated path, because
regardless of the disappointment I’d felt just a few minutes prior there was no
way out of the game but to cross the finish line. In my mind I began to
encourage myself. Remembering that just because The Man had a goal, didn’t mean
his goal had to be mine. All I had wanted to do was finish and that was damn
well what I intended to do. I shook of the unnecessary self-loathing (which
REALLY didn’t belong to me anyway) and took a deep breath, then let it out. I
did this multiple times, reminding myself that I came for the experience and
not just the end result.
My attention gravitated toward the crowd around me all
moving forward whether walking at a slow pace or springing past. We all had the
same goal, to finish, and it didn’t matter how we got there. In each ear I
could hear participants motivating other participants. We were all in this
thing together! And one of the most wonderful sounds I will ever remember was
the sounds of the supporters who came to cheer all of us on. At that moment the
world became the most beautiful place to me. So many talk about how cruel, evil
and selfish the world is, but I saw none of that out there at the race.
People had shown up just to support US! How magnificent was
that?!(The experience touched me so deeply I am even tearing up now in the
MIDDLE OF WORK as I write this lol!) Anywho, I felt the love from each and
every supporter as I worked myself to the marker for mile 9. And by then I felt
so much better (physically and mentally) that I took another Energy GU and
decided I was going to give it my all and still make some good time. Yes, all
of that emotional craziness happened just within ½ of a mile. Time means
nothing when you’re on an emotional journey and though that hadn’t been my
expectation for the marathon, that’s what it was turning out to be!
So with all of this energy flowing through me I picked up my
pace to a speed walk. And then you know what, some guidance I had been given
just days before came back to me. A very nice woman at our local YMCA (which we
attend ALL THE TIME) told us that if you’ve ever started to walk but wanted to
get back to a run, walk uphill and run downhill. I’d seen many people already
doing it and it seemed to working well for them. So I took a few deep breaths
and at the next downhill moment I let the momentum carry me into a run. Over
the course of the next 4 miles I changed between speed walking and jogging,
following exactly what my body told me it needed me to do. Though my body ached
in placed I was SURE didn’t have muscles I pressed on… at times even with a
smile.
Finally I reached the 12 mile marker and I knew I was almost
home (figuratively and literally). I ramped up the speed walking and when I
reached the last stretch of the race I kicked it up to a jog, chugged uphill
for the LAST time and let my body and the love from all those motivational
onlookers carry me to the finish. I was so emotionally touched by the
encouragement being so lovingly given by the crowd of (in the physical realm)
virtual strangers that I almost cried as I finished out my last strides and
crossed the finish line. And BEAT MY GOAL by almost 17 minutes!
When I stopped (FINALLY) I received my medal (which I didn’t
take off for the rest of the day, don’t judge me) and felt a HUGE grin spread
across my face. And even though it felt like I’d been to hell and back I’d
finished! I FINISHED A HALF MARATHON. Something I’d always told myself I
couldn’t do. Showed what I thought I knew… right? At the end of the line, I
found The Man waiting for me, just like I knew I would and then we enjoyed a
nice, cold, refreshing, free beer. Job well done. Take from it what you will. I
just felt the desire to share… so I have.
Love,
