Let’s Talk about Forgiveness

In this society we talk a lot about forgiveness.  “Forgive and Forget.” How many times have any of us heard that most popular phrase? Many of us have been through some sort of ordeal where we feel someone has wronged us. We blame this person or these people for making us feel bad and sometimes go as far as to allow our interactions with them to mold future lives, experiences and reactions. We often say we have forgiven someone, but still harbor ill will or hurt feelings and continue to see these people in a negative light. But why?

When we continue to relive those things that have brought us pain, it doesn’t help. What it does is drag us back down to that bad feeling place and cause us to attract more instances where someone has an opportunity to wrong us again. In this way we give up our power. When we focus on that which we don’t want, we attract it to us whether we like that fact (yes fact) or not. When we say we have forgiven someone and we truly haven’t we are only lying to ourselves, worse we are hurting ourselves. When we feel ill will toward someone else, we are not forgiving them.

The thing is, no one has the power to create within our lives. So in actuality no one can wrong us, unless we attract it, unless we allow it. And the consistent hurt we chose (yes chose) to feel afterward is a result of us continuing to wallow in those feelings and thoughts that harm us. As long as we are willing to accept that someone else can cause us harm, then we will continue to attract situations in which we appear to be the victim.

I propose that we learn to work on true forgiveness. Work to no longer wish ill upon those that have harmed us or feel bad at the thought or idea of them. I am encouraging all of us to get to a place, where we can wish these people well and see them with love in our hearts. Whatever we focus on whether we intend it for ourselves or others we tend to draw unto ourselves. So focusing positively upon others especially those we feel have wronged us, helps us take our power back.

Finally, we need to learn to forgive ourselves. We need to cut ourselves some slack for making mistakes and unknowingly putting ourselves in positions that have the potential to cause us harm. By acknowledging when we have done this to ourselves, we will better be able to avoid attracting harmful situation in the future. Sometimes growth can hurt, but if we can make it through the other side there is usually tremendous growth waiting for the taking.