…do yourself a favor and just listen. Sooooooooooo a couple
weeks back (I mean who’s really counting), I was playing the avoidance game.
See, I’d spent a lot of time struggling with writers block… which is really
just procrastination X 450,000 (no, not an exaggeration). Well anyway, finally
after doing some painfully extensive lovely inner work I admitted that I
was just afraid of completing the work, because it might all turn out to be
crap, and I’d have wasted all my time creating useless drivel when I would have
been better off counting chickens. (Yay way to be positive Michelle! /sarcasm)
Anywho, it was one of the best feelings in the world to get
past my own, self-induced blocks and get back to one of my greatest loves. I
wrote and edited and shared and it was a wonderfully fulfilling experience. But
you know us humans, we can’t just be happy with the journey itself,
nooooooooooooooooo, we have to add all types of constraints, criteria and
deadlines to our end results to make them better and get there faster. So I
started stressing about how much time I’d already “wasted” not writing and I
should have had the story submitted already and now I needed to push, push,
push to get it done. How many times a day, an hour, a second do you think we,
as human beings, stress the “I must get it done” aspect of everything we
encounter? I don’t want to count it out; I’ve already incriminated myself
enough. *moving right along*
So I decided to get it done faster (see there it is again)
I’d deny myself other things I loved, in the name of being more productive with
my time, so that I could put more time and energy into getting this story done
(OMG there it is again *gasp*). Well at first it was OK, because I loved the
writing, but then I missed things like reading my favorite books/genres and
playing video games (hey don’t be judging me). After a few weeks (maybe it was
months, who’s counting) I started receiving a gentle tug from my inner being.
“Why don’t you take a little time to break out that Final Fantasy game? You
know you want you.” My response was always, “Later.” Well my inner being and
the universe didn’t like that answer. No siree Bob!
Well, one lovely day when I had LOADS of time on my hands I
got all prepared to work on my story and would you know it, my damn computer
wouldn’t work! Aaaaaaaaarg! The thing moved so slowly I felt as if I were
moving backwards. I mean there was no way I was going to be able to write with
my computer functioning the way it was. So I called one of my friends, absolute
best computer tech in the entire universe (well at least that’s my opinion) and
asked for help. So, at that point I had all this time and nothing to do… well
at least that was my intial thought. Then the inner being spoke up, “So hey,
how about those video games. What else have you got to do now?” *sigh*
“Well played universe! Well played.”
I popped in the game and played for over three hours. You
think I missed it much? And that was when I had the realization (for the
trillionth time), listen to the moment and follow the call to your greatest
joy. It always yields the best results. Did you know I didn’t stop writing just
because I started back playing video games? *gasp* Imagine that!
Love,